My Story
by breaking ash
Summary: This is my first stab at a F.R.I.E.N.D.S fan fic. Its a C/M fic but the other guys show up. Rated PG-13 for suicidal themes among others. Please R & R! (good or bad) Thats correct! I finally wrote Chapter 3!
1. Default Chapter

****

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

My story

Copyright 2002

It will be over soon. The life I now live will be over. They will be gone, my wife my friends, they will never want to see me again. That is once they find out about my past. The past I have tried to forget and had hoped would go away. But its not that easy, they past can and will (sooner or later) brake out and destroy you. Don't forget that, the past is never at rest.

Right now I'm sitting at my kitchen table debating whether or not to take the pills that sit in front of me. I reach for the bottle completely sure I'm gonna do it, I want to do it ... but what about Monica? I can see her walking into the apartment and finding me on the floor with an empty bottle of pills not far away. My heart breaks as I imagine the look of hurt and pain on her face.

I sigh as I screw the lid back onto the pills. What was I thinking? GET A GRIP CHANDLER! Not long after I put them back into the cabinet Monica walks in.

'Hey baby'

"How was your day?' I ask trying to sound cheerful, but she can tell. I'm not good at hiding stuff from her.

'Chandler what's wrong?'

'Nothing' I hate lying to her but 'Nothing' is better than 'I just almost killed myself' 

'Are you sure?' she sets her purse down on the table 'You don't look to good'

'Really I'm fine'

'Don't lie to me Chandler' she walks over and wraps her arms around my neck kissing me softly 'What's wrong?'

I push her off of me with more force than meant because she stumbles back into the table, ' Jesus Monica! I'm fine really so just drop it!'

She backs away from me, I can tell she's hurt. I've never yelled at her let alone pushed her. I don't know what to say, an uncomfortable silence follows. A silent tear finds its ways down her cheek. It kills me inside whenever I see her cry, but words can not express the pain I feel knowing that I'M the reason that tear is falling.

'Oh Mon' I reach for her and she takes a step back. I can feel my heart breaking. We stand there in another awkward silence follows. I decide to reach for again knowing my heart wouldn't be able to take it if she backed away again. I reach out and walk towards her, she stands her ground. I bring her into an apologetic hug.

'I'm sorry please don't cry, I've just been under a lot of stress lately' DAMNIT! Another lie, why can't I just tell her the truth. Why? Because she would never be in my arms again, because when I wake up in the mornings she won't be next to me.

Wait, maybe it's not as bad as I think it is. I mean maybe she'll understand my side of the story. 

'Mon,' I whisper ' We need to talk'

She looks up at me with a questioning look. She has stopped crying which will make this easier. She opens her mouth to speak but is cut off by a knock at the door.

'Its open Joe!' they knock again 'OK Pheebs, Ross, or Rach I'TS OPEN!' I yell as I walk towards the door. I swing it open. ' I told you it was…' my voice trails off. I can't believe this. I was about to tell Monica about the best keep secrete of my life, not even Joey knows, and standing in my door way is the person that could ruin it. I knew she was in town trying to find me but I never thought she'd come knocking on my door. It has been so long since I have seen her, since I was 16, but there is no mistaking her. I know who she is there's no mistaking her, my sister. As I look at her its like a floodgate opens in my mind and the past I have tried so hard to forget comes flooding back.

~*~

A/N: ok I know this is really short and a little confusing but I promise the next chapter will be longer and will help solve any confusion. Please R/R be as brutal or as nice as you want. I will have the next chapter up soon I'm almost done with it but I need lots of reviews! Please!


	2. My Story Chapter 2

Disclosure: I just had a birthday but wasn't given the characters so they are not mine L but one can hope right? I'll keep wishing "it could happen"

A/N: o ya this is © 2002 Ashlee B.

~ Chapter 2 ~

The year is 1980, I'm twelve years old...

*1980*

Chandler sits on his bed, covered in bruises, an open wound sits on his cheek. His mother walks into the room, knocking as she enters, "Chandler Bing!" she says obviously angry, "you were in another fight?"

He wants to tell her the truth so the beatings will stop, but he has been told that no one would believe him and the beatings will just get worse. He had every reason to believe that. His dad was the sheriff , a well-respected one, no one would take Chandlers word over his fathers, but the pain was too much. Chandler couldn't take much more he had to tell no matter what the circumstances.

"Mom, it wasn't a fight it was..." he stops. His dad has walked up behind his mother and gives Chandler a look that sends a chill up his spine.

"It was what?" his mother demands impatiently

"It was a fight" he sighed with defeat

"Chandler I honestly don't know what to do with you. I'll have to think of a suitable punishment, but as it stands you are grounded for two weeks"

"ok" he can feel his eyes watering up and wished she would just leave before he broke down in front of her

She backs away from the door and gives her husband a kiss on the cheek before heading to the living room. Leaving Chandler and his dad alone. 

"Boy you better watch out" he stares at Chandler coldly, "you fuck up and tell someone you wouldn't live to see the next day... that's a promise" he slams the door as he leaves.

Chandler can finally breathe, something he hasn't been able to do since his mom left. He couldn't take it, the pain, physically and mentally was beginning to wear him down.

He could end it, with two swift cuts to the wrists. He would fall into a never-ending sleep, a thought that appealed greatly to Chandler. Chandler gave much consideration to the idea. He waited till everyone had gone to sleep, then he crept into the kitchen and got a knife. 

When he got back to his room he put the knife to his wrist, the cold steel felt good on his skin. He began to drag the blade across his wrist, he stops suddenly and looks down at his wrist. The cut is about an inch long and seemingly deep judging by the amount of blood coming from the wound. Tears begin to flow as he realizes what he just did and was about to do.

He couldn't give in, he wouldn't give his dad that satisfaction. In doing so he would finally admit his defeat, his dad would win. He couldn't win.

He put the blade up and got a towel to wrap around his wrist then sat on his bed. He needed to think. He knew he had to do something his body couldn't take it. His chest was completely covered with bruises and he was weak all the time. He had lost a lot of weight and was pale. 

He was suffering mentally just as bad. He had been put down by his father so much that he had started to believe him. Not to mention he was depressed all the time, a smile rarely graced his face. Plus his grades had dropped dramatically.

After a while of debating (and getting his wrist to stop bleeding) the best solution he could think of was to run. Pack up as much shit as possible and never look back. If he didn't he wouldn't live much longer, either his dad would kill him or he would push Chandler to do it himself.

He shuffled through the closet and found and old bag. He started stuffing it with clothes and anything he had he thought worth taking. He snuck into the kitchen for some food then left, hoping to never have to see his family again.

~*~

I lived on the streets for about two years. I got into drugs and started dealing.

I spent my thirteenth birthday under a bridge with a joint, heroine, and a syringe. I spent my fourteenth birthday… well I don't really remember my fourteenth birthday. I was too whacked out that day to remember anything.

Everything was going fine, well as fine as it could in my situation, until I didn't have the money to pay my suppliers. Which might not sound like too bad of a problem to you but you didn't know them, you'd never seen what they did to the people who didn't pay. 

I _had _to pay, or my death would be a long and drawn out one. I had only one solution that was a sure thing, I had to go back home. Not to stay but to get some of my old shit to pawn. Believe it or not I had some valuable stuff and I needed it more than ever. Sure I could've knocked over a gas

station or something but I couldn't risk not getting what I needed. Pawning some of my stuff was a sure thing.

~*~

*1982*

'No ones home' Chandler sighed in relief.

He hadn't seen this house since the night he left, and hadn't planned on seeing it again. He crawled through his bedroom window. Suprisingly every thing was exactly like he had remembered nothing seemed to have been moved or messed with. 

"Un-fucking-believable" he said out loud as he looked at his bed.

There was still dried blood on the sheets and blanket from when he cut his wrist. The fact that his parents didn't even care enough to remove the blood stained sheets and blankets from his bed would've hurt Chandler even a year ago but he just shrugged it off and went to his closet to find a bag.

"Fuck them" he thought as he searched through his closet.

He found his old book bag and started filling it with stuff, cds, and valuables. He finished and threw the bag out the window. 

He could smell someone barbecuing and that's when it hit him, how hungry he was. He hadn't ate in what he guessed to be 2 days. He shook his head and put a leg out the window, he didn't have time to eat. 

"Get in, get out" he said over and over in his head "Get in, get out"

He couldn't shake the stomach pain, he headed for the kitchen. He stopped half way down the hall and turned around looking at his bedroom. He knew he should leave, the risk of getting caught was getting greater by the second, but the hunger was unbearable.

He hadn't been in the kitchen long when he saw car lights coming up the driveway. He pulled apart the blinds just enough to see. Chandler's heart stopped, as his dad emerged from the car. 

Chandler was scared to even move. He managed to crawl into the corner, hoping his dad wouldn't find him. The front door slammed, the wall Chandler was leaning against shook. He could hear his dads footsteps, and with every step Chandler found it harder and harder to breathe. (A/N: most of the house has hard wood floors) Chandler closed his eyes, brought his knees up to his chest, and prayed his dad would go strait to his room.

The footsteps got closer then more distant. His dad had gone down the hall. Chandler breathed a sigh of relief, and began to rise to his feet. 

"Fuck"

Chandler froze. 

"You've picked the wrong damn house to rob!"

Chandler groaned. He had left his bedroom door and window open.

Suddenly the kitchen light came to life. Chandler looked up, standing a few feet away from him was the man he feared more than death.

"What the fuck are you doing here?!?" his voice was slurred and angry

Chandler couldn't speak, he was breathing heavily

"Answer me!" he threw an empty beer bottle from the counter and it crashed next to Chandler.

"I… I… I uh" Chandler stuttered as he struggled to his feet.

"You… you uh what?" he stuttered making fun

Chandler stood still as his father walked towards him, he was paralyzed with fear. 

CRACK! (A/N: sound affects heehee can't live without them) 

Chandler crashed into the counter.

"Come on get up!" he kicked Chandler in the stomach

Chandler looked up at the counter, his vision blurry. The only thing in reach is the dirty dishes that liter the counter. Just as his dad was about to kick him again, Chandler grabs a glass, and brakes it against the side of his head. His dad stumbles back and grabs the side of his head, blood covers his hand. 

Chandler leans against the counter trying to regain strength as he coughs up blood. His dad leans down and grabs a piece of the broken glass. Chandler looks up from the counter just in time to see his dad rising up with the glass.

Chandler's mind went into hyperdrive, he didn't even think. He did the first thing that came to his mind. He reached across the counter and grabbed a butcher knife. He turned around with just enough time to dodge the shard of glass, in his dads hand, that was coming for his back. Chandler didn't hesitate he jabbed the knife into his dads chest.

Gasping his dad fell to the ground. Chandler jumped on top of him and repeatedly stabbed him. All the memories of his beatings were flooding Chandlers mind as his anger poured out into the knife. 

He was snapped out of his trance when he heard sirens in to distance.

"Shit"

Chandler jumped up from his dad and starred in disbelief. Five or six stab wounds covered his fathers chest. Chandler stood in silence above his father knife in hand, he was still alive but gasping for breath. 

The sirens got closer and closer until finally the police cars pulled up into the driveway. 

Chandler didn't even notice the police cars until there was a bang at the door.

"Mark! Mark open up! We got a call about a disturbance at your house"

Chandler began to panic, he dropped the knife and searched for a way out. 

"Mark!"

Then Chandler remembered his window, it was more than likely still open. He took off towards the hall, he was at the opening of his room when he heard a loud crash. He stopped and turned around to see to front door come flying open and three policemen come barging in. 

"Damn" 

~*~

The next few hours are still a blur for me. I can remember getting to my window, getting half way out of it and having a cop pulling me the rest of the way out and tackling me to the ground. Then I was put into the police car and taken down to the station. 

I only remember bits and pieces of the rest. 

I can remember that none of my family came to see me except for my sister and my Aunt Nora. My mother had completely abandoned me, not wanting to hear my side of the story. I was dead to her.

My sister would tell me about our fathers condition. He was still in critical condition after a week, apparently he had lost a lot of blood and the wounds were deep. He had somewhere around one hundred stitches. 

I hated myself for what I had done, I had sank to his level. 

My sister would come every weekend until one weekend she told me that our father died. I killed him. One of the knife wounds had punctured a lung and it was too weak from the blood loss to recover. 

I couldn't take the news I got angry and went off on her. I don't even remember what I said, but it was harsh enough to make her not come back 

My Aunt Nora came to see me every once in a while. We would ignore the subject of my father. My mother was her sister so she couldn't help but bring her up every now and then even though she tried not to. Every time she did she would stop suddenly and an uncomfortable silence would follow. 

Aunt Nora was always good to me. I would have never told any of my other aunts but Nora was my favorite and she knew it. 

She was the only one who believed me when I told her about the beatings. My mom, sister, and other relatives thought it was ridiculous. 

She brought me a cake for my birthday and was at my trial. 

I staid in jail for a couple of months before my trial. I can remember every detail of the trial…

~*~

"All rise!, the honorable Judge Stuart Macher residing!" (A/N: heehee all you Screa|\/| fans know him)

The jury and spectators rose and sat respectfully. 

The now 15 year old Chandler Bing was lead into the room in handcuffs. His mother, sister, and a few other relatives were scattered across the room. But the only one Chandler cared about being there was Aunt Nora and she was in the front row.

"Hi" Chandler mouthed to her as he was set in front of her

"Hey sweetie" She said 

"How do you plead" the judge asked Chandlers attorney

"Not guilty with reason of temporary insanity" he stated

~*~

The trial lasted for about a week. It was the worst week of my life. My attorney told the jury that I was temporarily insane when I killed my father. He told them about the beatings. About how he used to drag me down every chance he got. But my father was a respected sheriff, who was going to believe my lawyer?

~*~

The trial lasted for five days. Chandler was waiting for the juries verdict. On the outside he looked calm, patient, collective but on the inside he was screaming. The wait was tearing him apart. Finally the jury filed back into the jury box.

"Have you reached a verdict?" Judge Macher asked

"Yes we have your honor"

"How do you find the defendant?"

"We the jury find the defendant guilty of 3rd degree manslaughter"

Chandler's heart stopped. A cold sweat came over him. He thought he was going to throw up.

"Chandler Bing you have been found guilty of 3rd degree manslaughter. I sentence you to six years in the New York Juvenile Detention Center, until you are the legal age of twenty-one. With the possibility of parole in four years. You will finish your high school education in the learning facilities available."

Chandler heard crying behind him and knew it was his Aunt. He wanted to cry himself but he didn't want to break down in front of all the people staring at him waiting for a reaction. 

He felt Nora's hand on his shoulder, reached up and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Even though he was the one who needed the reassuring squeeze, being fifteen and being told that the rest of your teenage life will be spent in a jail cell is not an easy thing to process.

The bailiff walked up to Chandler and led him out of the court room to the holding area, where he waited to be brought to his cell. Where he will spend the next four to possibly six years of his life.

To Be Continued…

A/N: ok so what do you guys think? I tried to make this chapter longer its like 2000 words more so I hope you guys like it. I spent forever on it. Well tell me what you think. I love getting reviews be bad or good so keep 'em coming!

Ashlee


	3. Authors note

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

My Story

© 2002

**__**

VERY IMPORTANT PLEASE READ IT ALL!

A/N: ok guys this is the deal. I know it has been a while since I've updated "My Story" and I'm sorry for that but I wanted to cover A LOT of ground in the third chapter. However, I have about a page and a half of the third chapter of My Story written that I feel comfortable with posting on the site. So if you want me to put what I have of chapter three on the site please let me know with an email or review or something cause I hate making you all wait this long. I would really like to have some new material up but the third chapter is just taking me so long so please let me know if you want to have part of chapter 3 posted or if you want me to wait till I'm done with the whole chapter. Also for any of you who have read "Can Their Relationship Last?" the second chapter for that will be up soon I've just been really busy lately. One more thing I have a joint story that I wrote with Euphoric Daze called "He Was Supposed To Be My Friend" so go read that and please leave a review. Ok I guess its two things I have a new story about C/M called "Rainy Days" that I'm planning on posting in the near future so look for that. Thanx,

PsYcHoBuNnY

copy written so don't copy me

PERRYS GIRLIE


	4. My Stroy Chapter 3

A/N: Can you believe it? I actually wrote on this story. I didn't think I'd ever write on it again but I've had a few readers ask me about it lately and I figured I'd give it a shot. It's not very long I'm afraid but I'm working on it. This is my first fic ever, I'd really like to finish it. Um… well leave me a review and let me know what you think. If you guys are liking it, and you can forgive me for taking so long =P I'll promise to work on it more frequently, and not once every 6 months.

Disclaimer: I only own Christine

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F.R.I.E.N.D.S

My Story

©2003 Ash Matthews

~ Chapter 3 ~ 

I was released after four years with two years of parole. I got off pretty easy considering what I had done. I was grateful the jury and judge believed that at one point during the assault I was insane. I was 19 years old. The day I stepped out of that prison was one of the scariest days of my life. I had become oblivious to the real world. When I would sit in my cell and day dream about being back in the world it would scare the bejesus out of me, it's a scary thought. How did they expect an inmate to function in the world after being locked in a building for a number of years?

Nora came to the rescue. I moved in with her and her new husband, Charles, who had no idea that I was just released from jail or that I had ever gone.

I had completed grades 6-12 in the learning facilities, all I did was study. I was accepted into a community college not far from Nora's, I guess my 'criminal record' wasn't looked up. Since I had nothing, Nora paid my tuition, for my books, and for new clothes, she had become a writer while I was incarcerated and had hit it big. I have since paid her back in full, plus.

The community college is where I meet Ross. He had no idea I was on parole. Through him I meet Monica and Rachel. I lost touch with Monica and Rachel over the years, but Ross and I stayed close. When Ross married Carol, I was the best man. I saw Monica for the first time in years and she looked great. We sat and talked for around an hour. When I told her I lived with my aunt, she mentioned the apartment across from hers was available. I told her I would look into it even though I wasn't planning to.

The next day I told Nora about it. (Her and Charles had divorced, he moved to Las Vegas to open 'Viva Las Gaygas'.) She thought it was a good idea. I was 24 pushing 25, I needed to be around more people than herself, and I had a job so I could afford it and if not she could help me, she had pointed out. I worked at a large company as a… well I count and input numbers. Kip moved in not long after me, and Pheebs lived across the hall with Monica. I lived with Kip for a while then Joey moved in…

You pretty much know the rest, my relationships, my marriage to Mon, fights, and all that good stuff. Nothing about my past had shown through and I had planned on keeping it that way, I mean what they don't know can't hurt 'em.

That plans screwed now. She's here and there's really nothing I can do about it.

~*~

"Chandler who is it?" Monicas voice broke Chandler from his memories and thoughts.

She had figured he was talking to however it was but she heard no voices.

"Chandler?" she walked up behind him and touched his waist causing him to jump. Monica looked at him weirdly then to the beautiful woman standing in their doorway. Chandler's head fell as he walked off mumbling something indiscrete.

"I'm sorry about him. Can I help you?"

"I'm actually here to see Chandler." The woman stated looking at the figure now hunched over on the couch, his head in his hands.

"Chandler?" Monica asked confused. Why did she want to talk to her husband?

The girl extracted her eyes from Chandler and noticed the confused look on Monica face. "Oh I'm sorry, you must be Monica. I'm Christine, Chandler's sister."

"Chandler doesn't have any sisters, or brothers for that matter. He's an only child." Monica stated matter-of-factly.

"Well I'm glad to know he's told you about me." Christine joked.

"Why would I do that?" Chandler mumbled from the couch just loud enough for them to hear.

"Um… come in." Monica said more than slightly confused. If this was really Chandler's sister then why didn't the group know about her, more importantly why didn't **she** know about her?

A/N: Don't forget to let me know what you think!

**__**

QUACK


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